Ah yes, social media. Everyone knows what makes it so great. You can reconnect with friends, cultivate relationships with colleagues, stay up to date with the latest news on the best brands, etc. With everyone leaving their digital handprints all over everything, it’s easy to forget that there is some etiquette involved when transferring social networking into the real-life arena.
Unfortunately, the value of business networking events and social media is being pecked away at by folks who are forgetting how to be people at events. Go to any big business networking social event nowadays and you’ll find denizens of folks armed with smart phones and business cards who are ready to pounce on you at any given moment, motivated by only one goal – to promote their own business.
As professionals, it’s important to maintain a level of social respect and integrity, knowing what kind of networking event we’re at and making sure we behave appropriately when we’re there. However – that also extends a few miles further down the proverbial road – to how we treat the people at those events.
In such a technology-driven society, we often add people ad-naseum to our networks that range from good buddies and close business confidants to some guy with a tupe that you met for five seconds at the last networking event. It’s important to keep in mind that there are a lot of different kinds of relationships that exist once you cross over into person-to-person/real world networking world.
In a way, networking is like a safari. Except instead of encountering lions, tigers and bears, you have different species of networkers, all of whom should be approached in different ways. This month, we’ll talk about some of those species and how you approach them, but also mention some universal tips that work across all networker-types.
Here’s your three basic species of networkers:
The friend – You can talk business with this person, but you can also share personal information. Usually this is the kind of person you slap backs with, have fun with, attend social functions together, etc. Most kinds of conversations are accepted. Business is easy to do with this person, you often connect each other with valuable people, look out for each other’s interests and all in all, have a great relationship with already accepted and established boundaries.
The (Potential) Business Associate – Is a great person to introduce yourself to, exchange information with and connect online. If you’re both busy doing non-business things, it’s probably more appropriate to connect with them later online. You’ll always be more successful and productive in a business sense with someone if you can respect the person’s space. Be aware of the kinds of conversations you’re having with this person. You’re still in the building stages of your relationship. The latest bathroom joke or funniest new “Bush/Obama lol” jokes probably aren’t a good idea. Figuring out how you can help each other grow business referrals? Completely appropriate. Just always err on the side of caution as to when you do that.
The Connector – This is the person in the room almost everyone knows and/or wants to speak with. Some folks congregate around them, others wait patiently. Others like to call them ‘door dwellers’ because when they come to the event – they don’t make it past the door due to the throngs of people who want to say ‘hi’. They spend the whole night backed into a corner. Say ‘hi’ but move on and connect with them later online. Don’t get lost in the shuffle trying to vie for time. The best approach with connectors is to see if you can set up a time to speak with them one on one outside of the event.
Beyond those relationships, here are some things to keep in mind:
Be cognizant of your boundaries – It warrants repeating. Just because you both might be tickled pink over a picture of a guy landing crotch-first on a railing online, does not mean you’re bosom buddies when you meet.
Leave the agenda at home – There isn’t anything more irritating than someone who’s relentlessly driving a conversation back to their usually shabby sales pitch. Don’t cannon-ball into conversations feigning interest, only to pitch them later on. If you want to pitch the person then pitch them. Just don’t do it then. It’s rude.
It’s not about ‘getting something’ – Asking someone to ‘do something’ for you is really lame. Don’t expect to get things from them. Look what you can do for them. BNI might have clobbered the ‘givers gain’ line to cliché proportions, but you know what? They’re right!
“I need space” – If there’s someone with whom you’d like to build a connection with, by all means do so, but don’t monopolize their time. And if they’re pressing the ‘eject’ button and obviously looking to move on, don’t follow them. Let them be and follow up with them some other time. It doesn’t mean they don’t want to talk to you. It’s that ‘now’ is probably a bad time. Respect that.
Not every event is a business opportunity – I know that might go against what has been relentlessly hammered into your brain, but honestly, don’t give someone a pitch at a fundraiser or charity event. When you’re someplace where people are coming together to support something else (cancer research, autism, etc), then support that. Not you.
Don’t be a contact poacher – No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to cultivate strong relationships with everyone in the room. It’s better to spend quality time with 6-8 people (At a 2 hour networking event, that’s 20 minutes a person) and cultivate relationships that way. When I see someone spamming business cards, when they get to me, I always say ‘no thanks’. They’re clearly not interested in anything that anyone has to offer other then what they’re hocking.
Talk to the event hosts and ambassadors – Honestly. These folks are virtually all one person away from everyone in the room. You’ll save yourself a lot of time and energy looking for the right people for you to talk to by ASKING the people who’d probably know best. Not only that, but you’re also connecting with folks who are natural movers and shakers. Two birds. One stone.
Keep those rules in mind and you should be well on your way to creating and cultivating a whole swatch of successful business networking relationships!
Hunter Golden is an independent copywriter & marketing consultant and owner of Write Stuff Copywriting. He helps companies and organizations who want to become INCREDIBLE communicators. For more information on Hunter or if you’re interested in having him write for your company, contact him at hunter@writestuffcopywriting.com or go to http://www.writestuffcopywriting.com today!
